Strange But TRUE News in TEH OT

Advanced Warfare Off-Topic

Excuse me sir there's a hipster in your Eggo.

Warlord-Chojin1
Likes: 188
Posts: 354
Registered: ‎31-01-2014

RCMP in Leduc are asking for the public's help in locating a stolen donkey.

Police say two females were spotted with the donkey in the back of their older model Jeep Cherokee, near Township Road 482 and Rural Road 252 in Leduc County, south of Edmonton, on May 12.

A witness told police they later saw the donkey being loaded into an unknown truck and trailer and taken away.

"This was a family pet and the owner is quite upset about the theft," said Cst. Burchett of the Leduc Integrated Traffic Services Unit in a press release Tuesday.

Police say they have sent a notice to livestock officials and will monitor social media in an attempt to locate the animal.

newm8n
Likes: 1366
Posts: 1780
Registered: ‎09-09-2011

Keep us posted on that one newm8n. I'm worried about him.

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greyfryer67
Likes: 801
Posts: 911
Registered: ‎31-01-2014

He was spotted in the back of a jeep with two females. I was gonna make a joke here but you know what, lol, police might do well to search a certain genre of pr0n to get an idea of his whereabouts.

Warlord-Chojin1
Likes: 188
Posts: 354
Registered: ‎31-01-2014

I love local news. The crap Albertans get themselves into.

DocChoi
Likes: 788
Posts: 1063
Registered: ‎15-08-2013

Can't believe they grabbed that guy's ass.

"Being Human totally sucks most of the time.

Videogames are the only thing that make life bearable."

-Anorak's Almanac, Chapter 91, Verses 1-2
NiceDrewishFela Level 75
Likes: 15419
Posts: 26303
Registered: ‎02-09-2011

  A Cymbal and a kick drum roll down a hill... BUH DUM CHH! - A Cymbal and a kick drum roll down a hill... BUH DUM CHH!  Lame Pun Coon 

Warlord-Chojin1
Likes: 188
Posts: 354
Registered: ‎31-01-2014

Estate Agents To Be Culled In Bid To Avert Housing Bubble

  

  

  

Housing News: Around 10% of estate agents will be publicly executed as a warning to others, in a bid to avoid another UK property crisis.

estate_agents_executed

The controversial cull will begin next week, when a tenth of estate agents from high streets across the U.K will be shot and strung up from lampposts, in a desperate bid to slow down the housing market and avoid another property bubble.

It’s hoped the sight of dead estate agents swinging from lampposts will cause the market to become more cautious, while also cheering up anyone stuck renting for the rest of their lives.

“This may seem like an extreme action, but it seems the only surefire way to stop people paying stupid amounts of money for shitty houses,” said a government spokesman.

“Obviously we will be asking for volunteers – elderly estate agents, or those in the profession who can no longer look at themselves in the mirror will be asked to come forward first. The rest will be chosen by how smarmy they are.”

greyfryer67
Likes: 801
Posts: 911
Registered: ‎31-01-2014


greyfryer67 wrote:




Estate Agents To Be Culled In Bid To Avert Housing Bubble

 

 

 


Housing News: Around 10% of estate agents will be publicly executed as a warning to others, in a bid to avoid another UK property crisis.


estate_agents_executed


The controversial cull will begin next week, when a tenth of estate agents from high streets across the U.K will be shot and strung up from lampposts, in a desperate bid to slow down the housing market and avoid another property bubble.


It’s hoped the sight of dead estate agents swinging from lampposts will cause the market to become more cautious, while also cheering up anyone stuck renting for the rest of their lives.


“This may seem like an extreme action, but it seems the only surefire way to stop people paying stupid amounts of money for shitty houses,” said a government spokesman.


“Obviously we will be asking for volunteers – elderly estate agents, or those in the profession who can no longer look at themselves in the mirror will be asked to come forward first. The rest will be chosen by how smarmy they are.”


what real estate agents might sound like

"We do not rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level
of our training"
Izjar11 Level 75
Likes: 9409
Posts: 16821
Registered: ‎14-11-2011

Tennessee Man Had Sex With ATM, Picnic Table: Cops

A 49-year-old Tennessee man was arrested after making an unusual deposit at a Murfreesboro ATM.

Police say Lonnie Hutton walked into the Boro Bar and Grill, pulled down his pants and tried to have sex with an automated banking machine, WKRN reports.

Officers arriving on the scene say they saw him walking around the bar nude, thrusting his hips in the air, according to WGNS Radio.

Hutton was taken outside and ordered to sit at a wooden picnic table.

"We do not rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level
of our training"
Izjar11 Level 75
Likes: 9409
Posts: 16821
Registered: ‎14-11-2011

Studios